Best Tweets on Chetan Bhagat's New Book Announcement - Half Girlfriend

Twitter reacts to everything, especially them who are considered to be as Mass heroes, but are actually not. Today, as tweeted earlier by Well Known 'Writer' Chetan Bhagat, he announced the name of his new book with a full page ad in leading dailies. The name of the book is quite amusing, 'Half Girlfriend'. Just after Chetan broke the ad, with a small synopsis, Twitter was abuzz with making fun, bashing, praising (?) and tweeting anything & everything about the book.

Presenting, some of the best tweets that I spotted on my TL:

Chetan Bhagat goes to a Restaurant. "Ek plate Chowmein aur ek Girlfriend one by two, jaldi"
— Half Gabbbar! (@GabbbarSingh) August 5, 2014

Chetan Bhagat - 1st book: Five Point Someone. Last book: Point Five Someone.
— Ramesh Srivats (@rameshsrivats) August 5, 2014

Dear Chetan Bhagat Half Girlfriend One Night Two States Three Mistakes Five Point Enough of running between the wickets. Hit a 4 or 6 next.
— Rofl Indian (@Roflindian) August 5, 2014

Chetan Bhagat has done Half Publicity. The other half of the publicity will be done by you.
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) August 5, 2014

Sajid Khan is already interested in Chetan Bhagat's new book. He is planning a movie based on it called Half-Shakals.
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) August 5, 2014

Before ordering, read Chetan Bhagat's "Half Girlfriend" in a brief here. pic.twitter.com/Bicex0TTxB
— BBC (@BabaBakChod) August 5, 2014

क्या ये सिर्फ इत्तेफाक है कि चेतन भगत की नई किताब और insurance bill साथ-साथ आ रहे हैं?
— ख़बरबाज़ी (@khabarbaazi) August 5, 2014

किताबो को लेकर मनमोहन के मन मे इस हद तक डर समा चुका है कि उन्हे शक है चेतन भी अपनी किताब मे खुलासा न कर दे कि UPA सरकार मे उनकी नहीं चलती थी
— ख़बरबाज़ी (@khabarbaazi) August 5, 2014

चेतन की किताब आते ही इज़राइल-फिलिस्तीन ने 72 घंटे के सीज फायर का एलान कर दिया। उन्हे भी समझ आ गया कि अब हमे अलग से तबाही मचाने की ज़रूरत नही
— ख़बरबाज़ी (@khabarbaazi) August 5, 2014

In the other news, Rahul Gandhi read the Half Girlfriend twice because he wanted a full Girlfriend.
— Donald Duck (@WatDaDuck_) August 5, 2014

Chetan Bhagat initials are CB, it should be BC.
— 1/2 Maithun (@Being_Humor) August 5, 2014

So if you marry a #HalfGirlfriend, she becomes your better quarter, right?
— NumbYaar (@NumbYaar) August 5, 2014

Chetan Bhagat is like Yo Yo Honey Singh. They think they write about the youth, while actually the youth ends up writing more about them.
— NumbYaar (@NumbYaar) August 5, 2014

5 Point, 3 Mistakes, 2 States, 1/2 Girlfriend. The numbers in Chetan Bhagat's book title are reducing like the quality of his writing.
— Pushkar Karn (@Pushkar_Karn) August 5, 2014

"5" Point Someone What not to do at IIT "3" Mistakes of my Life "2" States "1" Night at a Call Centre "½" Girlfriend Next Book: "¼" Brain ?
— गौRव (@bwoyblunder) August 5, 2014

Chandigarh is the Half Girlfriend of Two States Haryana and Punjab.
— Rofl Gandhi (Half) (@RoflGandhi_) August 5, 2014

Chetan Bhagat is the most popular writer. Honey Singh is the most popular singer. Salman is the most popular actor. India, next superpower.
— Dorkstar (@Dorkstar) August 5, 2014

Half girlfriend is okay but which half is the important question.
— Dorkstar (@Dorkstar) August 5, 2014

Half Girlfriend is actually a Horror Story of Chetan Bhagat's Ex. pic.twitter.com/oamVOgqhnu
— TweetErrant (@TweetErrant) August 5, 2014

I have a suggestion for the cover of #HalfGirlfriend Very apt! pic.twitter.com/vtaQgfIWNP
— Sue (@witchybitchygal) August 5, 2014

People after reading Half Girlfriend. pic.twitter.com/jL4vmZx5sd
— TweetErrant (@TweetErrant) August 5, 2014

Half Girlfriend 18 12 18
— 1/2 Maithun (@Being_Humor) August 5, 2014

Half Girlfriend because "Madmast Saali Aadhi Gharwaali" would not sound civilized.
— Bad Company. (@RowdyTalks) August 5, 2014

Chetan Bhagat is coming up with his new book..Waiting for Mooen Ali to wear 'SaveIndia' Wristbands in the next Test Match.
— Manish. (@Slysterr) August 5, 2014

Riya : "Thanks nahin bol sakte?" *Madhav grabs her shoulders and shakes her* Riya : "Stop! What was that?!" Madhav : "Shook Riya"
— Ripper (@Ace_Of_Pace) August 5, 2014

Can't blame Chetan Bhagat for "Half Girlfriend", inflation rate and girls' 'Nakhre' are so high that no guy can afford full Girlfriend.
— EngiNerd. (@mainbhiengineer) August 5, 2014

Chetan Bhagat's new book already sounds fake. No girl named Riya would ever want to be friends with a guy named Madhav.
— Hardik Rajgor (@Hardism) August 5, 2014

Half Girlfriend will be a huge hit in engineering colleges. Every boy will buy at least two. That's the only way he will have a girlfriend.
— Vicky (@MrTippler) August 5, 2014

FIVE point THREE mistakes TWO states ONE night at the call center HALF girlfriend ZERO sense in my books. - List of Chetan Bhagat's books.
— Saira. (@LoKarloRT) August 5, 2014

Girls always use half of their brains. So, #HalfGirlfriend it is.
— Jal Kukdi (@Jal_Kukdi) August 5, 2014

#HalfGirlfriend is story of a twitter celeb. who keeps RTing a girl's 'tweet' unaware of fact that there is a guy behind that beautiful DP !
— What's in Name !! (@JaggaJachus) August 5, 2014

'Half Girlfriend' sounds like the cheap version of 'Friends with benefits'.
— Chetan Bhugat (@chetan_bhugat) August 5, 2014

Wife's sister: Aadhi gharwali Girlfriend's sister: Half girlfriend
— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) August 5, 2014

Half Girlfriend is the story of Parthiv Patel's Girlfriend.
— TweetErrant (@TweetErrant) August 5, 2014

Half girlfriend kya hota hai? Aadhi ladki TDS mei cut gayi kya?
— Mohit (@HaramiParindey) August 5, 2014

Half Girlfriend is when Anushka Sharma becomes girlfriend of Adnan Sami
— Sunil (@akshaykanitkar) August 5, 2014

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Best Tweets on my Timeline from Apr 2

After a long time, presenting some of the best tweets on my TL from April 2, 2014

This is LOL! by @bawli_poonch

Q. Find out the Digvijay Singh. [5 fools gold] pic.twitter.com/12YLhXNPzq
— zahrilli Batein (@bawli_poonch) April 2, 2014

@Ra_Bies suggests a good solution for Arvind Kejriwal

The way Kejriwal is always keen & enthusiastic about elections, make him the Election Commission chief. He'll also get a 3 BHK from the govt
— RaBies (@Ra_Bies) April 2, 2014

Netaji @AapGhumaKeLeyLo asks a valid question to Gul Panag

.@GulPanag Errr... but then what was your Bollywood stint, if not a part part part part time job? @AamAadmiParty
— Neta Ji (@AapGhumaKeLeyLo) April 2, 2014

Cost of avoiding someone like Rahul Gandhi - in INR, by @scratchysingh

My Price pic.twitter.com/YH0FgzaxyA
— sCRaTcHy sInGH (@scratchysingh) April 2, 2014

Jobless Bobby Deol! by @kitAnurag

Dharmendra: Bobby, camera hai? Bobby Deol: Haan par mere paas film nahi hai.
— Anurag Verma (@kitAnurag) April 2, 2014

 Jejus ke Sath Sath, please save me too - tweet (or rather, pain) by @Singhlicious

Rakhi: oh Jejus sve meh. Jejus: hey Rakhi spare me.
— Mojo (@Singhlicious) April 2, 2014

 Chaa Gaye @coolfunnytshirt Guru, Thoko Taali

Sonia declared her total assets as Rs 2.8 Crores. Gr8 declaration! Only thing missing was laughter tracks of Sidhu & Archana in d background
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) April 2, 2014

Hahaha, 'ASSET' of Sonia Gandhi decoded by @jhunjhunwala

Sonia Gandhi declared her ASSETS today. The 'ASS' was Rahul Gandhi,the 'ET' was Digvijay Singh.That dude is an alien.
— SSJhunjhunwala/Magal (@jhunjhunwala) April 2, 2014

#YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @khatte_angoor

#YoSoniaSoPoor Rahul Gandhi paid his first ever visit to her only.
— Shree (@khatte_angoor) April 2, 2014

#YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @i_Udita

#YoSoniaSoPoor she took RaGa to Sardar on Christmas and told he is Santa
— Udita Pal (@i_Udita) April 2, 2014

 #YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @mainbhiengineer

#YoSoniaSoPoor that she is giving 200 rupees to Sanjay Jha as salary.
— EngiNerd (@mainbhiengineer) April 2, 2014

#YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @iNeelSoni

#YoSoniaSoPoor pic.twitter.com/T2TzzoLQw9
— Neel Soni (@iNeelSoni) April 2, 2014

#YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @my2bit

#YoSoniaSoPoor she packs food from the Parliament canteen.
— Bahadur (@my2bit) April 2, 2014

#YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @NumbYaar

#YoSoniaSoPoor she tells Kejriwal "meri koi aukaad nahi hai"
— Nanimbar (@NumbYaar) April 2, 2014

#YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @HaddHaiYaar

#YoSoniaSoPoor that she cant afford toys for RaGa so that she brought Manmohan Robot for him.
— Anuj (@HaddHaiYaar) April 2, 2014

#YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @ROFLaala

#YoSoniaSoPoor that she only asks for free Dhanya without buying any vegetables
— ROFLaaLa (@ROFLaaLa) April 2, 2014

#YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @1KumarGaurav

#YoSoniaSoPoor that she uses KFC bucket to store water.
— अnगूठाछाप (@1KumarGaurav) April 2, 2014

#YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @NumbYaar

#YoSoniaSoPoor thieves break in to 10 Janpath to leave money.
— Nanimbar (@NumbYaar) April 2, 2014

This was a reply to me, on one of my 'Poor' #YoSoniaSoPoor tweets. My tweet was lame, but awesome reply by @manNa_d_psychO

#YoSoniaSoPoor that even her fart sounds like "poor poor poorer poorest poorrr " @sagarcasm @bdheeraj @NumbYaar @akshaykanitkar @Jokey_Chan
— Aalsiyo ka Maseeha (@manNa_d_psychO) April 2, 2014

Ravi Shastri declared his assets and @coolfunnytshirt was there to check all his assets

Ravi Shastri declaring his assets - 3 crore tracer bullets. 2 crore rockets. 1 crore km of wire.
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) April 2, 2014

Tusshar Kapoor declared his assets & @sagarcasm announces it for us

"Sister" - Tushar Kapoor declaring his assets
— Fun Intended (@sagarcasm) April 2, 2014

Some respite from Politics & wordplay by @Lohapurush

Q. How does an Iraqi ask his father to run? A. Baghdad
— Lohapurush (@Lohapurush) April 2, 2014

One more #YoSoniaSoPoor tweet by @dashhtweets

#YoSoniaSoPoor that Angelina Jolie is planning to adopt her.
— I don't know why I (@dashhtweets) April 2, 2014

Tips to overcome break-ups by @Lungfakeer

If you got single recently, sleep with one leg waxed so that it feels like you are still sleeping with a woman.
— Punk Monkey (@LungFakeer) April 2, 2014

Emo by @SatanKiNani

Spread your cheer liberally That could be someone's only reason to smile for the day :))
— Soul Whisperer (@SatanKiNani) April 2, 2014

Bahut deep wala hai yeh - by @Vjuneesh

What a beautiful woman says, becomes a definition. Because, PariBhasha.
— J (@Vjuneesh) April 2, 2014

Couldn't ignore a Sunny Deol tweet of @Aksharpathak

Business idea: A deodorant called 'Sunny Deo' and each bottle weighs 2.5 kilograms.
— Akshar (@AksharPathak) April 1, 2014

Best way to reduce weight - by @RichaDKumar

*Sees gym membership fee* *Cries* *Goes daily to a street full of dogs* *Hangs dog food on waist* *Gets chased* *Loses 10 kgs in a month*
— Hahahaha! Really? (@RichaDKumar) April 2, 2014

Hahaha, You know, now what to do, when life closes all the doors for you - Solution by @immortal_luster

When life closes a door on you,, Call Daya.
— • Luster • (@immortal_luster) April 2, 2014

Last one on #YoSoniaSoPoor by me

#YoSoniaSoPoor that her son goes to Dalits' home to have food
— Sunil (@akshaykanitkar) April 2, 2014

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Best Tweets on my Timeline from Mar 20

It was either LK Advani Ji or Khushwant Singh Ji on my TL. Presenting Best Tweets on my TL from Mar 20

Bhai @HathwalaThakur lives in Tashan

Buying costly phones on EMI - Sounds as funny as "Kadke Hai To Kya Hua ! Haveli Bech Ke Bhi Mujra Toh Dekhenge Hi".
— HathwalaThakur (@HathwalaThakur) March 20, 2014

Only @RoflGandhi_ can think like this

LK Advani has decided to contest from Gandhinagar itself as he heard someone saying "Is baar PM Gujarat se hi aayega".
— Rofl Gandhi (@RoflGandhi_) March 20, 2014

India News leaves India TV Behind - Tweet by once again @RoflGandhi_

'Deepak Chaurasiya' kaise Utaarega Bhaang pic.twitter.com/igoIJTiYbP
— Rofl Gandhi (@RoflGandhi_) March 20, 2014

LK Advani's lust for becoming PM explained in the best possible way by @BolshoyBooze

अडवानी जी भोपाल की सीट के लिए ऐसे लड़ रहे है जैसे ट्रेन मे कुछ बुढ्ढे लोअर बर्थ के लिए लड़ते है
— Champ-u-terology (@BolshoyBooze) March 20, 2014

How Rahul Gandhi is planning to change Dharamshala City, explains @RoflGandhi_

RaGa : Dharamshala walo, main tumhara living standard high karunga. Crowd: Kaise? RaGa: Tumhare shehar ka naam Taj Palace rakh dunga.
— Rofl Gandhi (@RoflGandhi_) March 20, 2014

For me & (Probably) for @Itsmy_rule too, Varun Dhawan and Arvind Kejriwal - both are equally irritating

ईमानदारी... की बीमारी छोड़ के आजा... दौड़ के आजा करे बनारस तुझ को इनवाईट... सारी रात बेशर्मी की हाईट ।
— ☞ Mr.Smoker™ (@Itsmy_rule) March 20, 2014

How, not to get embarrassed in Public - by @FaaduTweets

'Ctrl+S' to save a document. 'Ctrl+Ass' to save pants.
— फाडू भगत (@FaaduTweets) March 20, 2014

How Indians have matured over last 5 years - brilliant one by @lahirip

All those who once wanted to be Roadies now want to be Modies
— Priyanka Lahiri Sen (@lahirip) March 20, 2014

LK Advani's favourite Yoga Position - Hamaare Netaji @AapGhumaKeLeyLo

Favorite yoga position of Advani ji -- हठ-योग!
— Neta Ji (@AapGhumaKeLeyLo) March 20, 2014

AD, BC & BA - LOL one by @Juuism

Before they started terming the age as Before Christ (BC), it was BA (Before Advani).
— Don (@Juuism) March 20, 2014

 Hahaha, Seems Legit - via @khabarbaazi

ख़बर है कि कांग्रेस के कुछ नेता अपने टिकट आगे ब्लैक में बेच रहे हैं।
— ख़बरबाज़ी (@khabarbaazi) March 20, 2014

LOL! Advani ki Sab Le Rahe hain Yaar - this time, it's @sagarcasm

'Old Monk' was called 'Young Monk' when Advani was 15 years old. #YoAdvaniSoOld
— Fun Intended (@sagarcasm) March 20, 2014

OMG! I'm not sure whether it is the best Tweet n LK Advani till date - this one is via @bwoyblunder

KLPD should be renamed LKPD in honour of Shri LK Advani
— Gaurav (@bwoyblunder) March 20, 2014

Still a mystery for me & @NumbYaar

The biggest flight mystery for me till date still remains how they found time to hijack a Pune-Mumbai flight in 'Yeh Dil Ashiqana'
— 3D Nanimbar (@NumbYaar) March 20, 2014

Yes, Khushwant Singh Ji was a Legend - via @scratchysingh

Thanks to Khushwant Singh for letting people know their was a sikhs beyond balle-balle
— sCrAtChy (@scratchysingh) March 20, 2014

Exact time from which LK Advani Ji is Angry - via @amitTweet_s

. @indiantweeter भाई,अडवानी जी तो तब से नाराज़ है, जब भगवान राम ने उनके बजाये हनुमान जी को सीता जी को लाने भेज दिया था।
— Amit Sharma (@amitTweet_s) March 20, 2014

 Can Om Puri Ji answer this question of @dashhtweets

If JK Lakshmi cement is that good, why doesn't Om Puri use it to fix the potholes on his face? #sorry
— I don't know why I (@dashhtweets) March 20, 2014

Thodha wordplay ho jaaye - via @meet1973vibe

Rishta aaya tha, kundli milvai, par baat kuch, gemini.
— Cant Fix STUPID (@meet1973vibe) March 20, 2014

Wordplay continues - by @TweetErrant

jiski Latte uski Beans.
— TweetErrant (@TweetErrant) March 20, 2014

How LK Advani was born - no no, not Julian Assange, but @Dilliwallah tells us

सब अफवाह है, वो समुद्र मंथन से निकले थे RT@bdheeraj ये कौन कह रहा था बे कि अडवानी जी पैदा नहीं हुये थे, वो मोहनजोदारों की खुदाई से निकले थे!
— Dilliwallah (@ProudDilliwala) March 20, 2014

I agree to @Law_Purush

ना जाने आडवाणी जी लापतागंज धारावाहिक के एक किरदार लल्लन जी PWD वाले की तरह हरकते क्यों करते है।
— Ajay (@Law_Purush) March 20, 2014

If this happens what @indiantweeter is saying, then I might vote AGAINST Modi Ji

कांग्रेस कंही मोदी जी के सामने सनी लियोनी को चुनाव ना लड़ा दे ।
— Ankit जैन (@indiantweeter) March 20, 2014

One more LK Advani incident - via @BoscoUnchained

Advani surived the meteorite that wiped the dinosaurs.
— Bosco II (a.k.a AJ) (@BoscoUnchained) March 20, 2014

Movie on LK Advani Ji - suggestion by @Ra_Bies

A movie on Advani will be named Past and Furious
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) March 20, 2014

 Err, what! - via @LOLendraSingh

Atal Bihari Vajpayee ji's oldest photo found. pic.twitter.com/nbB1kGSqGw
— LOLendra Singh (@LOLendraSingh) March 20, 2014

Nothing, just a normal scene in CID - narration by @Mocksterr

Daya: My god, he is dead. ACP: Lagta hai iski maut marne se hui hai. Dr. Salunkhe: Nahi boss, iski maut marne se nahi, jaan jane se hui hai.
— Yo Yo लाफ्टर Singh! (@Mocksterr) March 20, 2014

 Nice wordplay by @filmibaaz

Honey aaj Bees tarikh hain..
— Mitali Mehta (@filmibaaz) March 20, 2014

 @KitAnurag loves Celebrities like Aftab, Bobby Deol, Mimoh etc

Aftab Shivdasani: Mummy, mere joote nahi mil rahe. Mom: Waise bahar jaakar karega kya?
— Anurag Verma (@kitAnurag) March 20, 2014

Vote for @Trendulkar

Hi Mitron, i am open to becoming the CM of Gujarat after Modi becomes PM. I promise to legalise booze. Vote for me. Thanks.
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) March 20, 2014

One more LK Advani Tweet - this time by @Lohapurush

Infinity was derived from LK Advani's age.
— Lohapurush (@Lohapurush) March 20, 2014

Bechara Sholay waala Thakur - Pain expressed by @gulzared

" गुम है किसी के प्यार में , दिल सुबहो-शाम / पर तुम्हें लिख नहीं पाऊं , मैं उसका नाम " -- Thakur Baldev Singh
— Gurezaan (@gulzared) March 20, 2014

LOLul Gandhi Strikes Again - via @coolfunnytshirt

RaGa: Gandhi toh mai hoon.. Mai Gandhinagar se ladunga.. PA: Toh Advani ji kahan se ladenge? RaGa: Advaninagar se! Simple!
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) March 20, 2014

....and finally, Conversation between Rahul Gandhi & his PA in Dharamshala - via me

RaGa Yeh kaunsi city hai PA Dharamshala RaGa Wo Delhi mein hai na PA Wo Agarwal Dharamshala hai RaGa Yeh kya Sindhi Dharamshala hai? PA Dies
— Sunil (@akshaykanitkar) March 20, 2014

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Best Tweets on my Timeline from Mar 10

It was personally a hectic day for me, but Twitter was still a happy place. I missed most of the tweets, hence, please don't complaint, if your tweet doesn't get featured here.

Have a look at some of the best tweets that I saw today:

Javed Akhtar went to a Restaurant and something LOL happened - incident report by @EngineeRoholic

Waiter : Sir kya khaoge? Javed Akhtar : Faag W: what? JA : Arre Faag W : Arre Kya Faag? JA: Abbe makki ki roti aur Farfo ka Faag W : ok fir
— EngineeRoholic (@EngineeRoholic) March 10, 2014

Everyone knows the 'Talent' of Sunny Leone - tweet via @Daddyz_pari

अगर #SunnyLeone सोने की #Babydoll है तो भारत में ऐसा शायद ही कोई हो जिसने उस सोने का BIS Hallmark ना देखा हो..#okbye
— Bebe Bônitä (@Daddyz_pari) March 10, 2014

Oh Oh, you're caught - cute one, by @i_theindian

Teacher: Give me an example of - "getting caught red handed." Student: Attached! pic.twitter.com/5zJAv5TeCU
— ї тнєїиdїaй (@i_theindian) March 10, 2014

Brilliant! to say the least - by @doctoratlarge

Whether it's cricket, films or politics - we Indians want stars. Not players, actors administrators. Which is why we are what we are
— The Bad Doctor (@doctoratlarge) March 10, 2014

 Hahaha - Tragedy of @LOLendraSingh

Friend texts after giving missed calls : It's urgent, call me bhenchod. Me : BHENCHOD! *Gets deleted from his phone, friends-list and life*
— LOLendra Singh (@LOLendraSingh) March 10, 2014

No one wants a woman like the one described by @witchybitchygal

Women who get drunk on a single glass of wine fall asleep in the middle of sex.
— Sue (@witchybitchygal) March 10, 2014

Nice wordplay @IyerAvin , but it's False dude

Har pussy ko nahin milta yahaan pyaar zindagi mein...
— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) March 10, 2014

Patience is a virtue my friend @_TheGoodCA

Patience lies in the eyes of photographer who captures Poonam Pandey's ass photos.
— The Good CA (@_TheGoodCA) March 10, 2014

Reason behind Arvind Kejriwal's Behaviour - via @MohitParmarr

लगता है केजरीवाल जी अपनी IIT में हुई रेगिंग का बदला अब देश से ले रहे है।
— मोहित (@MohitParmarr) March 10, 2014

This format was doing rounds on Twitter and this one by @BolshoyBooze collected my attention

There were two notes: 'I love u.' and 'I leave u.'. Grammar Nazi corrected them to 'I love you.' and 'I leave you.' Got his ass kicked.
— Champ-u-terology (@BolshoyBooze) March 10, 2014

That's so kind of you @dashtweets

I'm a woman and I'll forgive you for every mistake that I've done.
— Darshna (@dashhtweets) March 10, 2014

Kabhi ispe dhyan nahi diya bhai @TweetErrant

अगर Manmohan Singh की पत्नी का नाम रागिनी होता तोह उनका पूरा नाम Ragini MMS होता.
— TweetErrant (@TweetErrant) March 10, 2014

Brilliant one by @HaatimTau on Political nexus between AAP & Congress

Kejri Kejri, Yes Sisodia. Supporting Cong? No Sisodia. Telling lies? No Sisodia. Check LS candidate list. Ha ha ha ha.
— Haatim Tau (@HaatimTau) March 10, 2014

Even the Rain Gods are angry with Arvind Kejriwal - observation by @RoflDelhite

लगता है सारी कायनात केजरी से मजे लेने के मूड में हैं, अगला जैसे ही मफलर उतरता है, दिल्ली में बारिश हो जाती है
— Rofl_Delhite (@Rofl_Delhite) March 10, 2014

Sad Reality of Today's life - by @BeerOholic

आजकल सबके पास टच फ़ोन तो ज़रूर होता है लेकिन व्यस्त इतने रहते है कि टच में कोई नहीं रहता।
— Professor (@BeerOholic) March 10, 2014

HAHAHAHAHA - Too Good, @Trendulkar , too good

Leaked picture of Prasun Bajpai pic.twitter.com/kMTu0cbmK7
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) March 10, 2014

Sunny Leone would not be a Sone Di Baby Doll, if she doesn't have this - via @bdheeraj

Sunny Leone: Baby Doll main sone di. Amitabh Bachchan: Are you BIS certified?
— D. (@bdheeraj) March 10, 2014

New Generation's Saying - via @Numbyaar

When in roam, charges apply.
— 3D Nanimbar (@NumbYaar) March 10, 2014

 What happened when Taran Adarsh's GF asked him to bring stars - via @naalaYUCK

Girl: "Kya tum mere liye taare laa sakte ho?" Taran Adarsh: "I'll give you 4 out of 5 stars"
— Faad dunga BC (@naalaYUCK) March 10, 2014

Sounds Like Logical - via @Allahdin

Cousin: Bhaiya angreji me "Dupatte" ko kya bolte hain? Me: (After thinking fr a while) Angrez auratein Dupatta nahi daalti!!
— Aladdin (Ab 3D Mein) (@Alllahdin) March 10, 2014

HAHAHAHAHA - @coolfunnytshirt - Chaa Gaye Guru - HAHAHAHAHAHA

All the videos of Rahul Gandhi's speech seems as if they are leaked.
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) March 10, 2014

Guess who has replaced Ekta Kapoor on Indian Television - via @mainbhiengineer

Once upon a time Ekta Kapoor was responsible for providing all drama on Indian Television, Now Kejriwal is controlling it.
— EngiNerd (@mainbhiengineer) March 10, 2014

Best Weather Update App - via @AksharPathak

Facebook is my favorite weather app.
— Akshar (@AksharPathak) March 10, 2014

 Real reason, why Market is going up since declaration of Code of Conduct - via @indiantweeter

Sensex rising because UPA cant do any more damage to economy as model code of conduct is in place.
— Ankit जैन (@indiantweeter) March 10, 2014

HAHAHAHAHA - @roflGandhi_ strikes again

राहुल "हाँ भाई क्या करता है " "जी खान मजदूर हूँ " राहुल "झूठ मत बोल, खान तो सुपरस्टार होते हैं " pic.twitter.com/WKHRJ4J0kk
— Rofl Gandhi (@RoflGandhi_) March 10, 2014

Summing up with two TL - DM Conversations - this one is by @Ra_Bies

TL G1:Hey, let's go to barbecue party G2:Yo, I'll wear red pants & heels yo DM G1:Deedi, jagraate par chalein G2:Haan,Laal chunni pahenungi
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) March 10, 2014

......and the last one by me :-)

TL G1: Don't judge me, I am what I am G2: Bravo DM G2: Didi, Judge karna kya hota hai? G1: Don't know, Maine home science padhi hai Law nahi
— Sunil (@akshaykanitkar) March 10, 2014

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Best Tweets on My Timeline from Feb 17, 2014

Indians woke up to see Brendon McCullum scoring a brilliant double century & pushing Indians on their way to their (Thankfully) last defeat of the horrendous tour. The innings was followed by Union Budget today, where the Union Finance Minister, P Chidambaram presented the (hopefully) last budget of UPA Govt.

Checkout the Top Tweets of the day:

I too have the same issue what @BeerOholic have

The only and biggest issue with meeting your old friends is the facebook tagging.
— Professor (@BeerOholic) February 17, 2014

Hahaha, Profound, as well as hilarious, by @meet1973vibe

Tried writing a factual novel on "What Women Want", but the plot kept changing after every 2 pages, and the end made no sense. #Insp
— Cant Fix STUPID (@meet1973vibe) February 17, 2014

Awww, so cute @KajuBadamChor

Awesome were those days when "innocence was "natural", when dad was the only "hero' ,love was mom's "Hug"& Siblings were worst "enemy" ever.
— KajuBadamChor (@KajuBadamChor) February 17, 2014

Jesus heals evryone's woes, who's gonna heal his woes? - via @kitanurag

*Church* Rakhi Sawant: Jejus tx for everythings, whatever I haves is because of yous. Jesus: Oh lord give me strength.
— Anurag Verma (@kitAnurag) February 17, 2014

@EngineeRoholic is a Serial Killer - Beware

Just broke set top box.....being called as serial killer
— EngineeRoholic (@EngineeRoholic) February 16, 2014

Wordplay on Brendon McCullum's Brilliant Knock by @WatDaDuck_

Main samay hoon. New Zealand ki pitches par Indian team ke apman ki katha McCullum se likhunga.
— Donald Duck (@WatDaDuck_) February 17, 2014

@Ra_Bies explained this photo of Rahul Gandhi

Dial up phone se main Shaktimaan se baat karta hun aur mobile phone se Doraemon se pic.twitter.com/kOoNjMI85w
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) February 17, 2014

One more Brilliant tweet on Rahul Gandhi's photo:

"Desh me telephone mera baap laya.. Par usme broadband lagwa kar..Twitter par mujhe gaaliya di aap logo ne milkar hi" pic.twitter.com/wEadlMzoBx
— Champ-u-terology (@BolshoyBooze) February 17, 2014

@scratchsingh discussed openly what every one of us try to do without uttering a word

Most difficult part of working is showing your boss that you are too engrossed in work.
— sCrAtChy (@scratchysingh) February 17, 2014

The reason given by @bizzarebhide for not putting Real DP is the same reason, why I also don't put up my real photo

I dont put up my real DP because people throw garbage at me when they see me.
— Keede dé Bhide (@bizzarebhide) February 17, 2014

Reality of Municipality Water shared by @coolgirl_hj

Teacher:water ka chemical formula btao? Student:H2 Mgcl2NaclHNo3CaCo3Ca(OH)2SnTNHgNiHCL O Teacher:ye ka h? Student:Ye muncipality ka water h
— miss_rockstar (@coolgirl_hj) February 17, 2014

Budget bigad jaayega Madam @Bitchywitchygal - If any Finance Minister attempted this:

A truly people friendly budget would make provisions for correcting Akhilesh Yadav's nose, Kapil Sibal's ego and Rahul Gandhi's brain.
— Sue (@witchybitchygal) February 17, 2014

Things, empowering Women of India, since ages - via @WatDaDuck

Belans and sandles are the traditional symbols of women empowerment in India.
— Donald Duck (@WatDaDuck_) February 17, 2014

Never ever download Porn in Office or this might happen to you - via @LungFakeer

That awkward moment when you tell the female colleague that internet is slow & utorrent announces 'crazy 3some has downloaded' on her screen
— Punk Monkey (@LungFakeer) February 17, 2014

Difference between Bitch & Cute Bitch - via @MayaMemeSaab

What do you call a bitch? Kutiya. What do you call a cute bitch? Cuteiya.
— Maya Uncivilisation (@MayaMemeSaab) February 17, 2014

I agree to what @semubhatt has to say regarding next PM of India

India needs a leader who has experience & excellent track record, not a he-is-well intentioned-hopefully-he-will-learn-on-the-job person.
— Semu Bhatt (@semubhatt) February 17, 2014

@CAcheKeys ' Advice for Skinny people

Put on some weight. Don't get carried away so easily.
— CAcheKeys (@CAcheKeys) February 17, 2014

Equivalent to 'Bittu, Kaun Hai Yeh Aadmi' - via @KinjuNanimbar

Who is this reality & why does everyone want to check it out?
— Kinjeneer (@KinjuNanimbar) February 17, 2014

Probably, the only reason to vote for Congress, this time - via @sagarcasm

@NumbYaar I would have voted for congress if they had said "Rajneeti nahi, Parineeti"
— Sagar (@sagarcasm) February 17, 2014

Some good news for people who didn't use to bath because soaps were expensive - via @lahirip

Soaps to be cheaper now. Very clean budget indeed
— Priyanka Lahiri Sen (@lahirip) February 17, 2014

@trendulkar highlights the Reason why Rupee is going weak

P Chidambaram : "Rupee is weakening because we are paying 4.5 crores to people like Piyush Chawla..."
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) February 17, 2014

Pratibha Patil should get this award - via @rahulroushan

Hope the former President gets one for her international tours. RT @DDNewsLive: President to give away National #Tourism Awards tomorrow
— Rahul Roushan (@rahulroushan) February 17, 2014

If Ekta Kapoor would have been a Minister, this would have been the ministry, she would have got - via @The_Sleigher

Ekta Kapoor is the Fiance minister of India.
— Haunted Sperm (@The_Sleigher) February 17, 2014

Dented Painted Abhijeet Mukherjee would say this proudly now - via @RoflGandhi_

President's rule imposed in Delhi, Abhijit Mukharjee was seen yelling at India Gate " Jaante ho mera baap kaun hai".
— Rofl Gandhi (Resign) (@RoflGandhi_) February 17, 2014

Brendon McCullum will help Modi Ji in achieving 272+ - via @Rofl_Delhite

Brendan McCollum can achieve Narendra Modi's target of 272+ on his own. #NZvInd
— Rofl_Delhite (@Rofl_Delhite) February 17, 2014

After Brendon McCullum's innings, every Indian had this feeling - via @coolfunnytshirt

Its a Deja Chu feeling for the Indian team overseas.
— Keh Ke Peheno(in 3D) (@coolfunnytshirt) February 17, 2014

Irritating People on Facebook

Arvind Kejriwal is trying to bring a revolution, but there are still some ppl on FB, who still tag you on festivals & Like their own status
— Sunil (@akshaykanitkar) February 17, 2014

Lulz

There used to be a South India Guy named Dineshan. Guess his father's name.... . . . . It's Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi - Father of Dineshan!

— Sunil (@akshaykanitkar) February 17, 2014

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Best Tweets on My Timeline from Feb 16, 2014

From Arvind Kejriwal to random tweets, it was a fun day on Twitter, hence, so many Tweets today. Have a look:

@RoflGandhi_ is frustrated from Insurance ads:

@Ra_Bies Lolz! Insurance ads: Son "Papa agar aapko kuch ho gaya toh?" Dad "Saale tu ho toh gaya, ab is se bura kya hoga"
— Rofl Gandhi (Resign) (@RoflGandhi_) February 16, 2014

Barkha Dutt acted in Lakshya movie. According to @IndiaFinger , it was her best role

Whatever guys, Barkha Dutt looked her best in Lakshya.
— Finger of India (@IndiaFinger) February 16, 2014

@ArvindFekriwal gets proposals like this: #Lulz

I gets proposal everyday, check dis --> pic.twitter.com/XDY90nGfVO
— MR. Fakeriwal (3D) (@ArvindFakeriwal) February 16, 2014

@prtxt tells us, why you should never trust 'That' school in SOTY

You can tell a lot about a school if its student of the year uses WeChat.
— Pratik (@prtxt) February 16, 2014

@lahirip is one of the victims of Corruption (Bhrashtachaar)

Damn! the entire bottle of pickle went bad. Ghar pe bhi bhrasht achaar
— Priyanka Lahiri Sen (@lahirip) February 16, 2014

Haryanvi Dudes don't say, 'This is not my cup of tea', they say something else, highlights @1KumarGaurav

Haryanvi cool dudes be like, "yo maare cup ki lassi koinya."
— de GAURAV (@1KumarGaurav) February 16, 2014

@GabbarSingh has a new doorbell in his home

Now setting my doorbell tone to this. Poetic. "Tune maari entriya, to ghar me baji ghantiya..tan tan tan"
— Gabbbar Singh (@GabbbarSingh) February 16, 2014

What they shouted when KRK was born. @The_Sleigher was there, and he disclosed it

When Archimedes discovered law of floatation he ran shouting Eureka Eureka & when KRK was born, people ran shouting Bhosdika Bhosdika.
— Haunted Sperm (@The_Sleigher) February 16, 2014

Hey Indian girls, read what @BolshoyBooze is saying & please don't do this

India will remain undeveloped and poor because there are many girls here who will vote for Rahul Gandhi's cuteness
— Champ-u-terology (@BolshoyBooze) February 16, 2014

@mainbhiengineer highlights a unique distinction of Arvind Kejriwal

Arvind Kejriwal is the only IITian who has quitted his job not for doing MBA but for serving country #respect.
— EngiNerd (@mainbhiengineer) February 16, 2014

Seriously, no Logic in this - tweet via @Jal_Kukdi

RIP Logic! "@ndtv: Since Narendra Modi says he doesn't have an immediate family, he perhaps doesn't understand impact of rising prices: AAP"
— Jal Kukdi (@Jal_Kukdi) February 16, 2014

Best review of Gundey Movie by @Ra_Bies

Gunday has a happy ending. I mean, I am happy it ended
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) February 16, 2014

Breaking: @Ra_Bies reveals Rahul Gandhi's Lok Sabha Election Plan

Rahul: Who is coming against me? PA: Kumar Vishwas Rahul: Red gotiyan mein lunga, pahli dice chahe ussko de do, par ludo hai kahan?
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) February 16, 2014

Twisted saying by @vodkya but people would agree for sure

A friend in need is an annoying asshole.
— Sam regrets that she (@vodkya) February 16, 2014

How followbacks request should actually be treated - A Gem by @witchybitchygal

I treat your followback requests like marriage proposals. I no longer accept marriage proposals.
— Sue (@witchybitchygal) February 16, 2014

Reality about Rahul Gandhi's rally - by another Gandhi: @RoflGandhi_

Rahul G is addressing first 'All Woman' rally in Karnataka but his PA has reported that its Delhi Metro's first coach actually.
— Rofl Gandhi (Resign) (@RoflGandhi_) February 16, 2014

@coolfunnytshirt is excited about KRK's chat show

When is KRK gonna start his chat show 'Churan with Chutiya'?
— Keh Ke Peheno(in 3D) (@coolfunnytshirt) February 16, 2014

No words - just a mesmerising pic - by @HalfCutChai

@max199pastrana @coolfunnytshirt @BollywoodGandu OK. pic.twitter.com/8S4AG3iID5
— Wolowitz (@HalfCutChai) February 16, 2014

Another name for Arvind Kejriwal - by @ReeeTweeeter

@naalaYUCK @indiantweeter pic.twitter.com/wEPcTIScht
— ReeeTweeeter (@ReeeTweeeter) February 16, 2014

@naalaYUCK 's vote for Delhi, UP & Bihar's CM goes to Nitin Gadkari, and for a specific reason:

नितिन गडकरी इतने बड़े है कि वो अकेले दिल्ली, उत्तर प्रदेश और बिहार के मुख्यमंत्री बन सकते है.
— Faad dunga BC (@naalaYUCK) February 16, 2014

@Spooferman_ can find a joke in anything, like this:

Someone hurled a shoe at Haryana CM Hooda. Apparently he also asked Hooda hell are you?
— Mocking Bard (@Spooferman_) February 16, 2014

@NanuKITTU finds Ashok Dinda's Bowling Coach

Ashok Dinda's coach found ;)RCB is planning to call him bk ;) @coolfunnytshirt @jhunjhunwala pic.twitter.com/GlSf41Mn3y
— Dr Keerthan Upadhya (@NanuKITTU) February 16, 2014

After 19 years of release of DDLJ's release, finally the secret of success has been made public by @max199pastrana

The secret behind the success of DDLJ. @coolfunnytshirt @BollywoodGandu pic.twitter.com/6OgyKuVkf6
— Dexter Morgan (@max199pastrana) February 16, 2014

This is why People avoid going to Rahul Gandhi's rallies - by @Jalim_Jat

I think Rahul Gandhi farted @bdheeraj @Kaaal_Panic @coolfunnytshirt pic.twitter.com/XckJlTNdb1
— चौधरी साब (@Jalim_Jat) February 16, 2014

Reason why you should clean your room quite often. What happened to @AskThePankazzzz shouldn't happen to you

Cleaned my room. Found some 400 rupees, 6 lost pens a chocolate and 3 dead bodies. Must do this often.
— This guy, zabardasti (@AskThePankazzzz) February 16, 2014

One of the things that you shouldn't Google, else what happened to @BATtameezDIL can happen to you as well

The LOL moment when you type cool dude pics on Google, and google starts showing pics of Bobby Deol.
— BATtameezDIL (@BATtameezDIL) February 16, 2014

Sunny Leone's next Bollywood Project - by @bdheeraj

Sunny Leone is going work in a Bollywood movie. The name of the movie will be "Hansi Toh Pussy."
— Dheeraj Bajpai (@bdheeraj) February 16, 2014

Word Play on Narendra Modi by @MrTippler

What did Narendra Modi say to the bartender after a tiring rally? ~"One de, malt rum."
— Vicky (@MrTippler) February 16, 2014

Tragedy of @HaatimTau

What did Narendra Modi say to the bartender after a tiring rally? ~"One de, malt rum."
— Vicky (@MrTippler) February 16, 2014

Life of Baai - Written & Directed by @bizzarebhide

My new maid switches the fan back on after she's done sweeping the room. I think I am in love.
— Keede dé Bhide (@bizzarebhide) February 16, 2014

Probably, the best one today - by @EngineeRoholic

Even the book named "Everything men know about women" has all pages blank
— EngineeRoholic (@EngineeRoholic) February 16, 2014

Reason why Alia Bhatt doesn't know about the PM of India - by @scratchysingh

Aila Bhatt has a fake degree, the girl ends up becoming student of the year & she don't even know who PM of India is.
— sCrAtChy (@scratchysingh) February 16, 2014

Ladies - Please do this what @BrainsReins is saying

Dear Woman, Be the Heroine of your life, not the Victim. Please.
— Reins (@BrainsReins) February 16, 2014

Easiest Solution of one of life's biggest problem by @PJ_CRACKER

Why insult a friend if you can slap him.
— Forever Clone. (@PJ_CRACKER) February 16, 2014

Max Punjabiyat by @Kharku_Punjabi

Paraanthas are the SI unit of Punjabi Breakfast.
— Kharku Pun-jabi (@Kharku_Punjabi) February 16, 2014

Sounds Logical - by @TweetErrant

I just read a list of ‘the 100 things to do before you die’. I’m pretty surprised ‘yell for help’ wasn’t one of them…
— TweetErrant (@TweetErrant) February 16, 2014

I'll just say HAHAHAHA after seeing this - via @BakwasRadio

Close enough (#fb) pic.twitter.com/CKo4ppu71m
— Bakwas Radio™ (@BakwasRadio) February 16, 2014

GODREJ 'Likes' this - via @Singhlicious

Cockroaches ko maarna band karo,Spray hit me jaari.
— Mojo (@Singhlicious) February 16, 2014

@bdheeraj maange kuch gaya tha, mila kuch aur

Pan wala: Pandit ji, Katha? Pandit ji: Satyanarayan ki, Ramayan ki jo bolo woh Pan wala: :|
— Dheeraj Bajpai (@bdheeraj) February 16, 2014

After reading this, you'll understand the problem of Indian Selectors while selecting Fast Bowlers for Team India - by @Rofl_Delhite

Amethi voters will have to choose between RaGa and KV. Now they'll understand, how tough it is for Indian selectors to choose btwn bowlers
— Rofl_Delhite (@Rofl_Delhite) February 16, 2014

Best use of Adobe Photoshop realised by @Ojasism

Adobe Photoshop is the best unisex fairness cream ever.
— Ojas (@Ojasism) February 16, 2014

It's one and the same thing Dude - I'm telling you @BoscoUnchained

I always mistake the Nano ad for the Gems ad.
— Bosco II (a.k.a AJ) (@BoscoUnchained) February 16, 2014

Probably, the only advantage of Arvind Kejriwal becoming Delhi's CM - by @trendulkar

Don't know about electricity, water & police reforms but i think Kejriwal was atleast successful in boosting up Wagon-R sales.
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) February 16, 2014

Future Plans of Arvind Kejriwal revealed by @trendulkar

Arvind Kejriwal will become Prime Minister and then quit to pursue higher ambitions like contesting Barack Obama for US presidency.
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) February 16, 2014

Alternative Names for Parents by @14_yr_old_Etard

Alternative names for parents 1.24/7 advice dispenser 2.Engineer MBBS career counselor 3.Interest-free money lender 4.Get married notifier
— E-tard (@14_yr_old_Etard) February 16, 2014

Why you should not fly from Air India, tells us @Lohapurush

Air India air-hostesses were born during Harappan civilization.
— Lohapurush (@Lohapurush) February 16, 2014

Real meaning of FIR by @KinjuNanimbar

FIR stands for FIR kabhi...

— Kinjeneer (@KinjuNanimbar) February 16, 2014

Fair & Lovely Phir se Haar Gayi

Badhaai Ho, Fair & Lovely Haar Gayi! Fair & Lovely ko haraaya......naye best ever Adobe Photoshop ne
— Sunil (@akshaykanitkar) February 15, 2014

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Best Tweets on My Timeline from Feb 15, 2014

After Valentine's Day is over & Arvind Kejriwal's drama also comes to an end, it was a mixed day on Twitter. However, people were still tweeting about Kejriwal & Politics + Hangover of Valentine's Day was also there.

Below is the snapshot of best tweets on my TL from Feb 15, 2014

Raj Thackeray's Motto of Life - by @sagarcasm

"Mah Lyf, Mah Rashtra" ~ Raj Thackray, maybe.
— Fun Intended (@sagarcasm) February 15, 2014

@Ra_Bies 's keen observation on Arvind Kejriwal

Kejriwal is like that WWE wrestler who strikes & hits his opponent with a big momentum but falls flat with his opponent changing position
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) February 15, 2014

Can't ignore this Emo, but profound tweet of @Allahdin

Our love story has gone a typo further..I don't Love you anymore, in fact "I Live You" now.
— Aladdin (Ab 3D Mein) (@Alllahdin) February 14, 2014

How different people would like a Facebook Post - via @Ra_Thor_

Hahaha pic.twitter.com/HdpmY61p2t
— Popeye (@Ra_Thor_) February 15, 2014

Poor @vodkya

I am such an attention seeker since childhood that I could never play chuppan chupai.
— Sam regrets that she (@vodkya) February 15, 2014

How to identify if it is a guy or a girl, by none other than @Ra_Bies

She is so witty that she is a man
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) February 15, 2014

Religious 'Non-Offensive' Humour by @friendlii_ghost

as long as there is no attachments pic.twitter.com/xEl7mRyzaQ
— Dj (@friendlii_ghost) February 15, 2014

Where do all Congressis Love to Dine - @indiantweeter grabs the picture

Congress's Fav restaurant. pic.twitter.com/3kklJtYCTP
— Ankit जैन (@indiantweeter) February 15, 2014

Finally, we have the answer for Chicken vs Egg debate - by @Singhlicious

Which came first chicken or egg? Rajnikanth- south Indians answered.
— Mojo (@Singhlicious) February 15, 2014

Hey Kiwi Cricket Team, Please take this advice from @prtxt

Someone tell New Zealand that Bobby Deol has taken 2 wickets in CCL.
— Pratik (@prtxt) February 15, 2014

You should not be doing what @1KumarGaurav has been doing

Relationship status: Dislocated my right arm.
— de GAURAV (@1KumarGaurav) February 15, 2014

Sunny Leone's Favourite Mobile Network - via @Alllahdin

Sunny Leone's favorite mobile network: 'Thokomo'.
— Aladdin (Ab 3D Mein) (@Alllahdin) February 14, 2014

How to deal with Assholes, tells @Urban_Stifler

Middle finger, for people who can't comprehend your lingo.
— MonKey Shanti (@Urban_Stifler) February 15, 2014

PJ King @coolfunnytshirt suggested a name for Arvind Kejriwal

Arvind Kejriwal agar shayar hote toh unka naam Coughi Azmi hota..
— Keh Ke Peheno(in 3D) (@coolfunnytshirt) February 15, 2014

Rohit Sharma is trying to impress Virat Kohli's Girlfriend, as per @_TheGoodCA

@coolfunnytshirt Rohit Sharma falling for duck was an attempt to impress Anushka Sharma.
— The Good CA (@_TheGoodCA) February 15, 2014

Why only @Ra_Bies gets a chance to meet these kind of girls

In a meeting, girl from Chennai was wearing long skirt & sport shoes."it's not that only Delhi & Mumbai girls have fashion sense", she said
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) February 15, 2014

Profound, by @pritamighty

Moving on is an art automatically mastered at Dadar station. @AdvancedMaushi
— Pritam Chatterjee (@pritamighty) February 15, 2014

Hahaha, Kudos, @Kaaal_Panic for this one:

पीटर फुलटन्न होकर आता है और जल्दी आउट हो जाता है ।
— काल्पैनिक (@Kaaal_Panic) February 15, 2014

Who can stop Narendra Modi from forming Govt in 2014? Answer by @Rofl_Delhite

The way Mitchell Johnson is bowling these days, he can easily stop team Modi from achieving their target of 272+ #SAvAUS
— Rofl_Delhite (@Rofl_Delhite) February 15, 2014

Horror movie for Batsmen around the world - via @IndiaFinger

Ragini-MMS-2 could be really scary if it features Mitch Johnson's bowling ! #Cricket #SAvAUS
— Finger of India (@IndiaFinger) February 15, 2014

Women Empowerement by Italy ka Beta @RoflGandhi_

New government in Delhi should stress on women's safety . Stations like Kadakardooma and Barakhamba should be renamed decently.
— Rofl Gandhi (Resign) (@RoflGandhi_) February 15, 2014

@scratchysingh for Delhi CM

I am free next month can I become CM, I'll host free parties every alternative day.
sCrAtChy (@scratchysingh) February 15, 2014

I too endorse this, what @Jal_Kukdi tweeted

Grammar nazis get some better things to do with your life. Seriously! #NoOffences
— Jal Kukdi (@Jal_Kukdi) February 15, 2014

Maanne waali baat hai @HaddHaiYaar ki

हमेशा मीठे वचन बोलो, अगर कभी वापिस भी लेने पढ़ें तो कड़वे ना लगें..
— A.K (@HaddHaiYaar) February 15, 2014

Hilarious wordlplay by @kitanurag

Wife: Kahan jaa rahe ho? Husband: Aate hain. Wife: Haan. Small aur large intestine dono hain :)
— Anurag Verma (@kitAnurag) February 15, 2014

LOL comparison of Arvind Kejriwal by @14_yr_old_Etard

Arvind Kejriwal reminds me of that kid in my building who'd throw his bat and leave the game just because he got out off the first ball.
— E-tard (@14_yr_old_Etard) February 15, 2014

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