Best Tweets on My Timeline from Feb 17, 2014

Indians woke up to see Brendon McCullum scoring a brilliant double century & pushing Indians on their way to their (Thankfully) last defeat of the horrendous tour. The innings was followed by Union Budget today, where the Union Finance Minister, P Chidambaram presented the (hopefully) last budget of UPA Govt.

Checkout the Top Tweets of the day:

I too have the same issue what @BeerOholic have

The only and biggest issue with meeting your old friends is the facebook tagging.
— Professor (@BeerOholic) February 17, 2014

Hahaha, Profound, as well as hilarious, by @meet1973vibe

Tried writing a factual novel on "What Women Want", but the plot kept changing after every 2 pages, and the end made no sense. #Insp
— Cant Fix STUPID (@meet1973vibe) February 17, 2014

Awww, so cute @KajuBadamChor

Awesome were those days when "innocence was "natural", when dad was the only "hero' ,love was mom's "Hug"& Siblings were worst "enemy" ever.
— KajuBadamChor (@KajuBadamChor) February 17, 2014

Jesus heals evryone's woes, who's gonna heal his woes? - via @kitanurag

*Church* Rakhi Sawant: Jejus tx for everythings, whatever I haves is because of yous. Jesus: Oh lord give me strength.
— Anurag Verma (@kitAnurag) February 17, 2014

@EngineeRoholic is a Serial Killer - Beware

Just broke set top box.....being called as serial killer
— EngineeRoholic (@EngineeRoholic) February 16, 2014

Wordplay on Brendon McCullum's Brilliant Knock by @WatDaDuck_

Main samay hoon. New Zealand ki pitches par Indian team ke apman ki katha McCullum se likhunga.
— Donald Duck (@WatDaDuck_) February 17, 2014

@Ra_Bies explained this photo of Rahul Gandhi

Dial up phone se main Shaktimaan se baat karta hun aur mobile phone se Doraemon se pic.twitter.com/kOoNjMI85w
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) February 17, 2014

One more Brilliant tweet on Rahul Gandhi's photo:

"Desh me telephone mera baap laya.. Par usme broadband lagwa kar..Twitter par mujhe gaaliya di aap logo ne milkar hi" pic.twitter.com/wEadlMzoBx
— Champ-u-terology (@BolshoyBooze) February 17, 2014

@scratchsingh discussed openly what every one of us try to do without uttering a word

Most difficult part of working is showing your boss that you are too engrossed in work.
— sCrAtChy (@scratchysingh) February 17, 2014

The reason given by @bizzarebhide for not putting Real DP is the same reason, why I also don't put up my real photo

I dont put up my real DP because people throw garbage at me when they see me.
— Keede dé Bhide (@bizzarebhide) February 17, 2014

Reality of Municipality Water shared by @coolgirl_hj

Teacher:water ka chemical formula btao? Student:H2 Mgcl2NaclHNo3CaCo3Ca(OH)2SnTNHgNiHCL O Teacher:ye ka h? Student:Ye muncipality ka water h
— miss_rockstar (@coolgirl_hj) February 17, 2014

Budget bigad jaayega Madam @Bitchywitchygal - If any Finance Minister attempted this:

A truly people friendly budget would make provisions for correcting Akhilesh Yadav's nose, Kapil Sibal's ego and Rahul Gandhi's brain.
— Sue (@witchybitchygal) February 17, 2014

Things, empowering Women of India, since ages - via @WatDaDuck

Belans and sandles are the traditional symbols of women empowerment in India.
— Donald Duck (@WatDaDuck_) February 17, 2014

Never ever download Porn in Office or this might happen to you - via @LungFakeer

That awkward moment when you tell the female colleague that internet is slow & utorrent announces 'crazy 3some has downloaded' on her screen
— Punk Monkey (@LungFakeer) February 17, 2014

Difference between Bitch & Cute Bitch - via @MayaMemeSaab

What do you call a bitch? Kutiya. What do you call a cute bitch? Cuteiya.
— Maya Uncivilisation (@MayaMemeSaab) February 17, 2014

I agree to what @semubhatt has to say regarding next PM of India

India needs a leader who has experience & excellent track record, not a he-is-well intentioned-hopefully-he-will-learn-on-the-job person.
— Semu Bhatt (@semubhatt) February 17, 2014

@CAcheKeys ' Advice for Skinny people

Put on some weight. Don't get carried away so easily.
— CAcheKeys (@CAcheKeys) February 17, 2014

Equivalent to 'Bittu, Kaun Hai Yeh Aadmi' - via @KinjuNanimbar

Who is this reality & why does everyone want to check it out?
— Kinjeneer (@KinjuNanimbar) February 17, 2014

Probably, the only reason to vote for Congress, this time - via @sagarcasm

@NumbYaar I would have voted for congress if they had said "Rajneeti nahi, Parineeti"
— Sagar (@sagarcasm) February 17, 2014

Some good news for people who didn't use to bath because soaps were expensive - via @lahirip

Soaps to be cheaper now. Very clean budget indeed
— Priyanka Lahiri Sen (@lahirip) February 17, 2014

@trendulkar highlights the Reason why Rupee is going weak

P Chidambaram : "Rupee is weakening because we are paying 4.5 crores to people like Piyush Chawla..."
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) February 17, 2014

Pratibha Patil should get this award - via @rahulroushan

Hope the former President gets one for her international tours. RT @DDNewsLive: President to give away National #Tourism Awards tomorrow
— Rahul Roushan (@rahulroushan) February 17, 2014

If Ekta Kapoor would have been a Minister, this would have been the ministry, she would have got - via @The_Sleigher

Ekta Kapoor is the Fiance minister of India.
— Haunted Sperm (@The_Sleigher) February 17, 2014

Dented Painted Abhijeet Mukherjee would say this proudly now - via @RoflGandhi_

President's rule imposed in Delhi, Abhijit Mukharjee was seen yelling at India Gate " Jaante ho mera baap kaun hai".
— Rofl Gandhi (Resign) (@RoflGandhi_) February 17, 2014

Brendon McCullum will help Modi Ji in achieving 272+ - via @Rofl_Delhite

Brendan McCollum can achieve Narendra Modi's target of 272+ on his own. #NZvInd
— Rofl_Delhite (@Rofl_Delhite) February 17, 2014

After Brendon McCullum's innings, every Indian had this feeling - via @coolfunnytshirt

Its a Deja Chu feeling for the Indian team overseas.
— Keh Ke Peheno(in 3D) (@coolfunnytshirt) February 17, 2014

Irritating People on Facebook

Arvind Kejriwal is trying to bring a revolution, but there are still some ppl on FB, who still tag you on festivals & Like their own status
— Sunil (@akshaykanitkar) February 17, 2014

Lulz

There used to be a South India Guy named Dineshan. Guess his father's name.... . . . . It's Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi - Father of Dineshan!

— Sunil (@akshaykanitkar) February 17, 2014