All Time Best Tweets - 2

@Teja_main_hun

After being rejected by my crush I went though Plastic surgery and started driving Rikshaw in her street. Now i reject her everyday. I won.
— Ye Teja Teja Kya Hai (@Teja_main_hun) March 24, 2013

Dear people, who just joined twitter, you all are late we have already tweeted everything.
— Ye Teja Teja Kya Hai (@Teja_main_hun) April 19, 2013

My tweets are like sperms, out of millions only one gets retweeted.
— Ye Teja Teja Kya Hai (@Teja_main_hun) April 16, 2013

@pranavsapra

Colgate Sensitive, the toothpaste that might start crying if you squeeze it too hard.
— Pranav Sapra (@pranavsapra) July 21, 2012

Mathematics was so bad a subject, even Aryabhatta gave it a 0.
— Pranav Sapra (@pranavsapra) January 25, 2013

They named it Galaxy Note because when you take this thing out of your pocket, the entire Galaxy can note that it's been taken out.
— Pranav Sapra (@pranavsapra) September 20, 2012

@Oinkoo

Maine bola pneumonia ka p silent hai, usne pyar ka p bhi silent kar diya. #friendzoned
— Frootoo Vajpayee (@Oinkoo) October 5, 2013

Main Roti rehti hoon, wo Atta hi nahi..
— Frootoo Vajpayee (@Oinkoo) December 19, 2012

What do you call people who don't believe in going to the gym? Gymnastiks.
— Frootoo Vajpayee (@Oinkoo) October 8, 2013

@Vjuneesh

Men's practical problem is to deal with women's imaginary problems.
— J (@Vjuneesh) April 1, 2013

If you earn your bread well, there will always be people around to apply butter.
— J (@Vjuneesh) November 22, 2013

Growing up: moving from window seat to aisle seat.
— J (@Vjuneesh) February 27, 2013

@RichaDKumar

*Gets hit by a car on road* *Takes out phone* *Uninstalls whatsapp,deletes txts* *Runs home* *Burns personal diary* *Comes back* *Dies*
— Hahahaha! Really? (@RichaDKumar) August 28, 2013

A woman while driving: What do you mean, use turn indicators? Where I am going is none of anybody's business.
— Hahahaha! Really? (@RichaDKumar) July 8, 2013

If people were paid for being stupid, poverty would vanish in no time.
— Hahahaha! Really? (@RichaDKumar) June 6, 2013

@Psilosophy

If websites were women, IRCTC would be your mom. "Mom can I.." "NO"
— M (@Psilosophy) August 13, 2013

Every girl wants a Raj. Then cries foul when it turns out to be a Thackeray.
— M (@Psilosophy) December 30, 2012

If they get your sarcasm, it's a moral victory. If they don't, it's an intellectual victory.
— M (@Psilosophy) February 24, 2014

@Faadutweets

Daughter ≠ Tensions. Daughter = Ten sons. #SaveGirlChild
— फाडू भगत (@FaaduTweets) December 14, 2013

Dear music, 'm sic' without 'u'.
— फाडू भगत (@FaaduTweets) November 10, 2013

Raghu joins AAP. Arvind Kejriwal to rename 'AAP' to 'Tu'.
— फाडू भगत (@FaaduTweets) November 6, 2013

@IyerAvin

Just like we have Saifeena and AbhiAsh, Bipasha and Harman can be called Bihar.
— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) January 8, 2014

"Stay offline." - Laxman to Sita
— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) May 4, 2013

"Chalti hai kya 6 se 12?" "6 se 12?" "Ashutosh Gowariker ki film hai"
— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) March 22, 2014