After being rejected by my crush I went though Plastic surgery and started driving Rikshaw in her street. Now i reject her everyday. I won.
— Ye Teja Teja Kya Hai (@Teja_main_hun) March 24, 2013
Dear people, who just joined twitter, you all are late we have already tweeted everything.
— Ye Teja Teja Kya Hai (@Teja_main_hun) April 19, 2013
My tweets are like sperms, out of millions only one gets retweeted.
— Ye Teja Teja Kya Hai (@Teja_main_hun) April 16, 2013
@pranavsapra
Colgate Sensitive, the toothpaste that might start crying if you squeeze it too hard.
— Pranav Sapra (@pranavsapra) July 21, 2012
Mathematics was so bad a subject, even Aryabhatta gave it a 0.
— Pranav Sapra (@pranavsapra) January 25, 2013
They named it Galaxy Note because when you take this thing out of your pocket, the entire Galaxy can note that it's been taken out.
— Pranav Sapra (@pranavsapra) September 20, 2012
@Oinkoo
Maine bola pneumonia ka p silent hai, usne pyar ka p bhi silent kar diya. #friendzoned
— Frootoo Vajpayee (@Oinkoo) October 5, 2013
Main Roti rehti hoon, wo Atta hi nahi..
— Frootoo Vajpayee (@Oinkoo) December 19, 2012
What do you call people who don't believe in going to the gym?
Gymnastiks.
— Frootoo Vajpayee (@Oinkoo) October 8, 2013
@Vjuneesh
Men's practical problem is to deal with women's imaginary problems.
— J (@Vjuneesh) April 1, 2013
If you earn your bread well, there will always be people around to apply butter.
— J (@Vjuneesh) November 22, 2013
Growing up: moving from window seat to aisle seat.
— J (@Vjuneesh) February 27, 2013
@RichaDKumar
*Gets hit by a car on road*
*Takes out phone*
*Uninstalls whatsapp,deletes txts*
*Runs home*
*Burns personal diary*
*Comes back*
*Dies*
— Hahahaha! Really? (@RichaDKumar) August 28, 2013
A woman while driving: What do you mean, use turn indicators? Where I am going is none of anybody's business.
— Hahahaha! Really? (@RichaDKumar) July 8, 2013
If people were paid for being stupid, poverty would vanish in no time.
— Hahahaha! Really? (@RichaDKumar) June 6, 2013
@Psilosophy
If websites were women, IRCTC would be your mom.
"Mom can I.."
"NO"
— M (@Psilosophy) August 13, 2013
Every girl wants a Raj. Then cries foul when it turns out to be a Thackeray.
— M (@Psilosophy) December 30, 2012
If they get your sarcasm, it's a moral victory. If they don't, it's an intellectual victory.
— M (@Psilosophy) February 24, 2014
@Faadutweets
Daughter ≠ Tensions.
Daughter = Ten sons.
#SaveGirlChild
— फाडू भगत (@FaaduTweets) December 14, 2013
Dear music, 'm sic' without 'u'.
— फाडू भगत (@FaaduTweets) November 10, 2013
Raghu joins AAP. Arvind Kejriwal to rename 'AAP' to 'Tu'.
— फाडू भगत (@FaaduTweets) November 6, 2013
@IyerAvin
Just like we have Saifeena and AbhiAsh, Bipasha and Harman can be called Bihar.
— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) January 8, 2014
"Stay offline." - Laxman to Sita
— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) May 4, 2013
"Chalti hai kya 6 se 12?"
"6 se 12?"
"Ashutosh Gowariker ki film hai"
— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) March 22, 2014
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