Best Tweets on My Timeline from Mar 9, 2014

I'm updating the best Tweets of the day, after a long long time. Work has taken a toll on my Blogging :(

So, Sunday is probably, the laziest day of the week, but not on Twitter. There were some amazing tweets on my TL. Have a look:

@doctoratlarge said something profound on the show, Satyamev Jayate

Aamir Khan takes 3 crores every Sunday to tell us that everything in the system is rotten and corrupt. Tweeps do that for free every day
— The Bad Doctor (@doctoratlarge) March 9, 2014

Another doctor, @RoflIndian makes a sensible statement, when he was probably, not in best of his senses:

Alcohol is strange. It makes you babble in the first hour and then makes you go quiet in the next two.
— Rofl Indian (@Roflindian) March 8, 2014

@Faadutweets 's parents are not happy with his love for his mobile

Workplace (n.) - The place where your parents don't shout 'Mobile fenk de' at you every two minutes.
— फाडू भगत (@FaaduTweets) March 9, 2014

Nice wordplay by @i_theindian , without trying too hard

Sorry mate, I made fun of your erectile dysfunction. No hard feelings!
— ї тнєїиdїaй (@i_theindian) March 9, 2014

@coolfunnytshirt tells us, what happened when Kejriwal met Big B (possibly in Gujarat)

When Big B met Arvind Kejriwal. AK : Hum jahan pe khade hote hain, Dharna wohi se shuru hoti hai..
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) March 9, 2014

How, Aamir Khan could have reformed the Police force in India, tells @RoflGandhi_

The best thing Aamir could have done for police reforms in India : Uday Chopra ko sath me lekar kood jaata Movie ke end me. #Dhoom3
— Rofl Gandhi (@RoflGandhi_) March 9, 2014

How Indian police has changed the methods of Confession from previous years, tells @Ra_Bies

Aamir Khan: Kaise confess karwaati hai criminals se? Officer: Dande, electric shock AK: Phir bhi naa maane toh? O: Phir Dhoom 3 dikhate hain
— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) March 9, 2014

What would Shahid Kapoor might become, tells @Stupidosar

One day Shahid Kapoor will write his autobiography. He will be the other of the book.
— StupidosaurOn (@Stupidosaur) March 9, 2014

Hahahahaha............no words, just look at it - via @The_Sleigher

*if raghu was porn director* Saale tu banega ghodie..tu banega BC..MC..
— Haunted Sperm (@The_Sleigher) March 9, 2014

Who should be there in Dhoom 4, tells @The_Sleigher

In Dhoom 4 , they should do something realistic by casting a real Life Chor like Pritam.
— Haunted Sperm (@The_Sleigher) March 9, 2014

How to deal with certain kinds of people - Pro Tip by @lahirip

Some people are like Vodafone 3G. Their presence or absence makes no difference to our lives
— Priyanka Lahiri Sen (@lahirip) March 9, 2014

Thana mein baithe on duty, bajaaye oye, Pandey Ji seeti - similar thing by @ArvindFakeriwal

Waiting for Item number in today's episode as All The Cop movies has an Item song performed at police station
— MR. Fakeriwal (@ArvindFakeriwal) March 9, 2014

LOL! I bet, you haven't seen, this kind of TL - DM version tweet - via @Farrenhite

TL G1: G2: DM G1: G2: (They aren't on talking terms with each other these days)
— Farhan Siddiqui (@Farrenhite) March 9, 2014

Nahi ho raha Bharat Nirman - witnessed by @prtxt

7 minutes since I entered Ahmedabad and still no new road built. Disappointed.
— Pratik (@prtxt) March 9, 2014

The Biggest (read Largest) achievement of Akhilesh Yadav's government in UP - via @anuragi89

Akhilesh Yadav sarkar ki sabse badi uplabdhi :) pic.twitter.com/SKMQYLzOBT
— Anil Anuragi (@anuragi89) March 8, 2014

Reason behind Aamir Khan's 'Ohhhhh' in Satyamev Jayate - via @LoKarDi_RT

Police officer Explains something... Amir khan: Ooohhhhh ! (means mujhe kuch b samaj ni aya, par audience ko lagna chaiye ki samaj aa gaya)
— BreakevenSushi (@LoKarDi_RT) March 9, 2014

Feeling of having 1000 followers is no more a big thing - via @TheDilliMirror

Having 1000 followers is like reebok shoes. Once upon a time u felt like stud wearing them, now even ricksha wala have them!
— JB (@TheDilliMirror) March 9, 2014

How can you avoid watching Satyamev Jayate - via @BolshoyBooze

Things Indians are doing to avoid red lights.. Becoz if they stop they are forced to watch Satyamev Jayate pic.twitter.com/cJ5TMphXob
— Champ-u-terology (@BolshoyBooze) March 9, 2014

The 2nd God in India, after Sachin Tendulkar - via @khabarbaazi

केजरीवाल ने ये कह सुरक्षा लेने से मना कर दिया कि भगवान उनकी रक्षा करेंगे।मोदी चाहे तो कह सकते है केजरीवाल को भी गुजरातियों पर भरोसा है#जडेजा
— ख़बरबाज़ी (@khabarbaazi) March 9, 2014

Someone was missing from Satyamev Jayate today - at least @WatDaDuck_ missed her

Deeply disappointed not to see Sandhya bindni among the IPS officers invite at Satyamev Jayate.
— Donald Duck (@WatDaDuck_) March 9, 2014

Why Batman is an American and not an Indian. tells @scratchysingh

Lucky Batman to born in America or else Arvind Kejriwal would hold dharna outside his house against his vehicles
— sCrAtChy (@scratchysingh) March 9, 2014

How, Yo Yo Honey Singh makes his songs - via, one and only @Trendulkar

I think Yo Yo Honey Singh has the Yahoo chat room database from 1998 and keeps using it to make new songs with weird lyrics.
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) March 9, 2014

I also wanted, but Sigh! Aamir didn't invite them - tweet via @mainbhiengineer

Aamir khan is doing an episode on Police in #SatyamevJayate, hope he will call honest police officers like Sunny Deol and Mithun on show.
— EngiNerd (@mainbhiengineer) March 9, 2014

Deep maara hai @shikhakotak ne

कहते हैं ज़िन्दगी का आखरी ठिकाना ईश्वरका घर है, कुछ अच्छा कर ले, मुसाफिर; किसी के घर खाली हाथ नहीं जाते....
— shikha kotak (@shikhakotak) March 9, 2014

HAHAHAHA - LOL via @TweetErrant

"दाढ़ी बनाने वाला मुह-केश का एजेंट हें." ~केजरीवाल
— TweetErrant (@TweetErrant) March 9, 2014

20 Saal baad, iss Gaane ka Matlab pata Chala, as I was too young when this song came - decryption by @BakwasRadio

@SatanKiNani @akshaykanitkar I think he was too short to unhook the bra of his girlfriend because high hook high hook high high
— Bakwas Radio™ (@BakwasRadio) March 8, 2014

Modi watched premier show of the movie Bewakoofiyan in a different style - via @naalaYUCK

NaMo was staring at RaGa for 30 minutes. RaGa: "Kya dekh rahe ho Modi uncle?" NaMo: "Bewakoofiyaan"
— Faad dunga BC (@naalaYUCK) March 9, 2014

How to get away from getting challaned for drunken driving - Pro Tip by @1KumarGaurav

Me: sir, i am not drunk. Policeman: you vomited twice already. Me: sir, i am not drunk, i am pregnant. 😐
— GAURAV (@1KumarGaurav) March 8, 2014

I also TRY to do that, almost everyday - an AWWW tweet by @EngineeRoholic

Everyday is women's Day, My mother is the reason i celebrate it everyday
— EngineeRoholic (@EngineeRoholic) March 9, 2014

@ Uniqueidiot_ is a Rich guy

Good thing about having lots of money is, you can start the sentence with 'It's not about money..'
— Unique Idiot (@UniqueIdiot_) March 9, 2014

Raise Your....Err, hands, who wants to have this bread - via @StellarCyapa

I desperately wanna eat this Finnish bread :D pic.twitter.com/fmeCPLQBIp
— Time Traveller (@StellarCyapa) March 8, 2014

What guys talk over TL & DM - via @witchybitchygal

TL B1: Tweets G1: Oh good B2: Tweets G1: Wow B3: Tweets G1: You are my hero DM To B1. B2 & B3 - Guys hume kabhi RT aur reply kar diya karo
— Sue (@witchybitchygal) March 9, 2014

Wake up @Allahdin

Jus woke up n found no Kejriwal on News Channels,no RaGa jokes on Twitter,no Sooryavansham on SetMax..There's somethin seriously wrong
— Aladdin (Ab 3D Mein) (@Alllahdin) March 9, 2014

What would have been Sunny Leone's name, if she would have born in a Different family